My Week Spot

Thanks for stopping by. Hopefully, you can find something worthwhile on these pages. I am so grateful for all of the responses you have sent, and I am deeply touched by the fact that my random gleanings have had an impact on so many of you.

Name:
Location: Chicago, Illinois, United States

Friday, January 28, 2005

Soprano Jokes

(The Divas, not the Mobsters)

If you threw a violist and a soprano off a cliff, which one would hit the ground first?
The violist. The soprano would have to stop halfway down to ask directions.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between a soprano and a terrorist?
You can negotiate with a terrorist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between a soprano and a pit bull?
The lipstick.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How many sopranos does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
Two. One to hold the diet cola and the other to get her accompanist to do it.
Four. One to change the bulb and three to pull the chair out from under her.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between a Wagnerian soprano and a Wagnerian Tenor?
About 10 pounds.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What is the difference between a soubrette and a cobra?
One is deadly poisonous, and the other is a reptile.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How do you tell if a Wagnerian soprano is dead?
The horses seem very relieved.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the first thing a soprano does in the morning?
Puts on her clothes and goes home.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the next thing a soprano does in the morning?
Looks for her instrument.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the difference between a soprano and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

What's the definition of an alto?
A soprano who can sightread.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A jazz musician dies and goes to heaven. He is told "Hey man, welcome! You have been elected to the Jazz All-Stars of Heaven--right up there with Satchmo, Miles, Django, all the greats. We have a gig tonight. Only one problem--God's girlfriend gets to sing."